


Momentous Snuggles

by salanaland



Series: Skywalker Family Feels [10]
Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: Canonical Character Death, Comfort, Force Ghost Anakin Skywalker, Gen, Good Parent Anakin Skywalker, Grief/Mourning, Hugs, Post-Star Wars: The Last Jedi, more or less
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-20
Updated: 2020-06-20
Packaged: 2021-03-03 19:01:55
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 881
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24830494
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/salanaland/pseuds/salanaland
Summary: Leia's lost so many loved ones, but this time is uniquely painful.
Relationships: Leia Organa & Anakin Skywalker | Darth Vader
Series: Skywalker Family Feels [10]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1616419
Comments: 3
Kudos: 175





	Momentous Snuggles

By the unanimous, unspoken consent of everyone in the Resistance who's survived the debacle at Crait, General Leia Organa gets to have the tiny captain's cabin on the _Falcon_ all to herself. There's a vague sense that she deserves it--whether from age, illness, or bereavement is unclear, but they all agree, their kindness and compassion radiantly obvious as they cram themselves into every nook and cranny of the old freighter. 

Leia doesn't want to seem ungrateful for their generosity, but it's exquisitely painful to sit on the very same cramped bed she used to share with Han in the late days of the Rebellion and the early months of their marriage. It's _surreal_ to be in the ship that brought her husband and her brother to her, so so long ago now. Everything else that matters has been taken from her--parents, homeworld, husband, brother, and the very soul of her son; why then is the _Falcon_ the one thing left from the old times, a creaking, malfunctioning deathtrap of a ship that was already old when she was young? 

She doesn't cry. She _can't_ cry. Half of her heart has been ripped out, and she is adrift as she has never been before. Not even when Han died, although that was certainly utterly agonizing. 

This shouldn't be this _awful_ , she thinks vaguely. After all, she'd spent almost two decades growing up light-years away from her twin, not even knowing of his existence. And more recently, she'd been fruitlessly searching for him when he'd cut himself off from the Force. She'd thought _that_ was bad, not being able to _reach_ him. But she'd _known_ that he was alive. Now that he's dead, she feels completely and utterly _alone_. 

It makes no sense. 

She turns to the glowing spirit sitting on the bed beside her, and quietly demands again, "Where _is_ he?" 

The man shakes his head, silent tears streaming down his scarred face. (Leia notes distantly that he's got a lot of scars today.) "I don't _know_ ," he answers again. 

" _You're_ dead, and you're here," she tells him tonelessly. She'd be angry, _furious_ , if she could feel anything at all. 

"Everyone is _different_ ," he tells her, burying his face in his hands. 

Leia grabs one of his fingers, one that appears metal even though it's actually made of the Force, and bends it backwards sharply, to get his attention. "Did you have phantom limb pains when you were alive?" she asks softly. 

He chuckles without humor. "All the time."

Leia's voice rises suddenly. "Well, _I'm_ having _phantom brother pain,_ because _my twin is dead_!" She glowers fiercely. "What kriffing _use_ is it to have a super powerful ghost Jedi father if you can't even _find my brother for me_?" Her voice creaks and cracks, and she has to stop and gasp for breath between racking sobs. 

Anakin pats her hand gently, waiting until her breathing steadies before he speaks again. "This isn't _easy_ , Leia. It took Qui-Gon over ten _years_ after his death to figure out how to--" 

" _You_ showed up _right away_ , and Luke is _stronger_ than any other Jedi besides maybe you and Yoda," Leia interjects. "That's what you told me, you said he has more of those midi-things--" 

"I said you _both_ do," Anakin corrects. "The Force is _strong_ in our family."

Leia closes her eyes in pain. "...That's how he _told_ me," she whispers. "And I was so--" she hunches in on herself, trembling. "... _angry_ , and _disgusted_ , and..." She trails off, clenching her fists, shaking her head. "Because I _knew_ , I knew he was _right_!" She opens her eyes and glares balefully at the ghost of her once-loathed father. "I felt like I had always _known_ he was there, without realizing it. And _now I know he's not_. You don't _know_ how that _feels_ , to have _half yourself_ torn away--" 

"I know pain that you don't know," Anakin says, very gently. "And you know pain that I don't. And there is misery that we both know. And we are _both_ suffering. I gave up my life and everything in it, _twice_ , for the both of you. I was _lost_ and _horrible_ for so long, thinking my child had died, and then I found _Luke_. And then I found _you_ , and because of you two, I found _myself_. I saved myself by saving his _life_ , and now he is _dead_ and I haven’t _found_ him yet in the Force. And we mourn him _differently_ , you and I, but nobody else in the universe feels his loss as keenly as we do. Could we not grieve _together_ , my daughter?" he asks plaintively, extending his other hand. 

Leia doesn't meet his eyes, but she does take his hand and squeeze it, hard. Anakin smiles tremulously, and when he thinks that she's about to let go, she flings herself at him with a piteous whimper.

He rocks his daughter gently and rubs her back, soothing her as he's waited more than fifty years to do. Her emotional barriers, held so tightly for decades with only the slightest cracks, dissolve in the piercing agony of their shared grief, and she clings to him and sobs torrents of tears, half-wailing incoherent things into the idea of his shoulder. 

Anakin understands every word. 

**Author's Note:**

> So... "happy" father's day, Anakin?


End file.
